Zwangzug national football team/roster

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Revision as of 01:25, 7 September 2021 by >Zwangzug (goal stats update. retirement(s) to come?)
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The Zwangzug national football team has participated in World Cup cycles 33-42, beginning with the 25th Baptism of Fire; World Cup cycles 64-69; Eagles Cup 6-10, World Cup cycles 80, 82-present (but not 81); Independent Associations Championship 9, and the first B71 Invitational. Ranges should be interpreted in this context. Players whose names are linked have more detailed writeups elsewhere.


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  • Cynthia Fairfax-Hazy: DF, CoH 80-present, Arlington City
  • Joshua Farthing: GK, Sporting Esper, WC64-CoH 57. Gave his own lipogram interviews, which is pretty much where you want your goalkeeper-eccentricity levels to be calibrated.
  • Mal Faustino: DF, A.F.F., World Cup 36-World Cup 40, 1 goal. Focused but confident, and willing to challenge the prevailing orthodoxy in the national team. After his retirement, he opened a supermarket in Abadia, which expanded into including a restaurant.
  • Ian Felsenfeld: FW, IYC Uharan, Chelmar FC, WC37-40, 3 goals. Very inconsistent, could have excellent or terrible performances with no way of predicting them. Teamed up with Evan Terwilliger for more erraticness at Chelmar. Later the manager of IYC Vanan, where he had a “clever man-managing style” and was a “wonder-worker” in keeping them relevant.
  • Jocelyn Fekapeu-Chara: DF, Sporting Esper, WC68-WC69
  • Ione Friede: MF, Canbix Muses, WC82-EC9, 13 goals
  • Blake Fures: MF, Bassabook Old Boys, WC69. A self-proclaimed "chap" who had to explain chappy things to the rest of the team during the "World Cup of Chaps."

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  • Vipin Lamin: DF, Namiri Forest, WC64-WC67. Made lots of pithy lists. Named to the "World XI" of World Cup 67, possibly for being one of the only defenders who was nominated (in his case, by district rival Shula Bachchan-Laum).
  • Gabi Lanius-Sexton: FW, Trebuchet Cham, CoH 74, 1 goal
  • Hajna Lantos: GK, Canbix Muses, CoH 60-WC69
  • Ursula Lauren: MF, Arrigo Portuguese, WC37-39, 1 goal. The national team's first female starter, who preferred to be judged on her play rather than demographic role and/or treatment of people who went on about it. She scored five goals in seasons XXVI and XXVII for Arrigo.
  • Michelle Lawrence: MF, Ephesian FC, EC6
  • Tara Lenski: DF, Rovers United, Caires City, WC40-WC42. Injury-prone with a penchant for highlight-reel stops, two concepts which overlapped too frequently. Played seasons XXX-XXXII in Caires; three goals, two own goals there.
  • Vanessa Leiter: DF, Canbix Muses, EC7-CoH 72
  • Allison Levi-Gold: DF, Sporting Esper, WC82-WC86, 2 goals. Zwangzug's nomination for Galactico Junior during UICA cycle 70.
  • Preston Liebersbach: FW, WC37-WC39, 4 goals. Spoke a unique idiolect of English which could include "yah, sure, yabetcha" and "yo dawg" in the same sentence.

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  • Allie Octar-Celyn: DF, Canbix Muses, EC6
  • Connor Ohme: DF, Bassabook Old Boys, CoH 60-WC69. Fairly withdrawn, a stereotypical "southeasterner" who found it difficult to talk to more liberal-minded people about his faith.
  • Simon Ryne Olson: FW, Marienburg United, WC33-39, 91 goals
  • Compars Ogawa: MF, Eintracht Trink, EC6.
  • Anne Onymous: outfield substitute, WC33-35. This is probably just a stupid placeholder pun we thought was funny at the time, rather than an actual player or quantum multiplicity of players who wore any single/double-digit integer that wasn't taken. But if we're going to be completist about this, here we are.

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  • Subroto Parida: DF, Namiri Independent, WC80-IAC9. Struggled with chronic, nauseating migraines throughout his career.
  • Helen Pimbura: GK, Canbix Muses, WC88-present
  • Tori Pfendler: MF, Arlington City, WC42. Good at the passing game, though often set up her opponents instead.
  • Nancy Puyo-Sachar: MF, Trebuchet Cham, EC11-present. Married to Griffith Puyo-Sachar, a shortstop for the Weegham Rainmakers and the national baseball team.

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